WomensWealth.Money http://womenswealth.money Thu, 15 Mar 2018 12:34:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.4 When Women Run the Planet: The Return of Matriarchy http://womenswealth.money/women-run-planet-return-matriarchy/ http://womenswealth.money/women-run-planet-return-matriarchy/#respond Sat, 03 Mar 2018 16:39:06 +0000 http://womenswealth.money/?p=20876 Women rule?  Is that fantasy, fiction or a credible history point?  And if it’s substantiated, what does it mean for today?  We are truly living in a world which cries out for help. Noted author Raine Eisler recounts ‘herstory’ in her increasingly relevant book, ‘The Chalice and The Blade’, first published in 1988. Yes, it […]

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Women rule?  Is that fantasy, fiction or a credible history point?  And if it’s substantiated, what does it mean for today?  We are truly living in a world which cries out for help.

Noted author Raine Eisler recounts ‘herstory’ in her increasingly relevant book, ‘The Chalice and The Blade’, first published in 1988. Yes, it is a chronical of events through time seen from a women’s point of view.  Why did she do this?

Her thesis in this groundbreaking book is that society has more culture and arts, less wars, more compassionate care for children and the elderly, better education, more stable social structure and much more – when women take leadership roles to direct the society.  There is more trust and cooperation and an absence of quest and domination.

That’s good news! Because maybe there is solution for our world here, as we are seeing this age where women are gearing up to more actively influence our social structure.  Here’s a history, no make that a herstory, lesson.   Let’s explore the reality because history hasn’t always been about patriarchy, or rule by men.

Matriarchy is a social system, a way of governance, like patriarchy that underlies the fabric of any culture.  Governance is important because it controls the resources of a culture — in particular the money.  In short, matriarchy is when women have influence and control in governance of the society.

The 1900s and into the 2000’s have been characterized by periods of patriarchy.  This has meant that resources, like money, have been allocated based upon this governance to the ‘haves’ and not to the ‘have nots’.  Are there enough resources for everybody?  Matriarchy takes a different view. Let’s have a look.  Take a moment to journey with me through the stories of human existence as we see more clearly this vitality.

In the early 1970’s, feminine activist Gloria Steinem spoke frequently about the historical basis of what she called, “matriarchy”.  Matriarchy is a social system in which females hold the primary power positions in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property to the exclusion of males, at least to a large degree.

Check this out: In the last hundred years or so the idea that matriarchy existed as a phase of human evolution gained notable popularity.  In our lifetimes, examples of matriarchal societies have been found and chronicled as truly existing and thriving.   Documenting this happened in spite of numerous negative portrayals painted by both male and female authors and researchers to dissuade the establishment of this perspective.

But the idea that there was, at some early point in early history, a shift from a prior matriarchal way of life to the primarily patriarchal system we now live has only gotten stronger.  In fact, recent research in the fields of sociology and psychology has given this idea new wind and strength for how we are transitioning as women today.  The theory goes like this:

Long ago there was a period in mankind’s history which was called the Gynocratic Age.  It was called that because women were supposedly revered for their child birth capability.  The process of procreation was still mysterious at the time, so males who didn’t understand their crucial part in it developed the belief that women “bore fruit like trees, when they were ripe.” (1)

This Age was supposed to have endured from an almost unthinkable time in the past – 2 million years ago – to about 3000 BCE.  Wow, a long time!  There is evidence that sometime around 3000 BCE something happened that changed the role of women in society and its governance into what it has currently become.  At that time in history a huge shift occurred that was memorialized in history as the world’s then-most advanced civilization. This signaled the shift that occurred when patriarchy became dominant – and the role of women has not been the same, as it was prior to that time.

This theory of early stage matriarchy gives context to how we got to this place in the procession of the events of social history, and what we might hope for in the future as women take the positions of reining again. This is in the face of what almost everyone knows is the general world view expressed as: “As if women would ever have run things, could ever have run things … and if they did, men surely had to put an end to it!” (2)  Sound familiar?

But before I reveal my theory about what might have happened in our ancient past of women’s history, let’s take a step back.  It is valuable to ask what “matriarchy” really is.  That’s because matriarchy is NOT just a form of society in which power is with the women and especially with the mothers of a community.  It is much more about the influence that women collectively have to act at the center of constructing the norms, values, lifestyle and distribution of resources for the society.  This can be in partnership with men, but it is not at the exclusion of women as characterized by patriarchy.

Although the word matriarchy comes from the Latin word “mater”, meaning mother, and the Greek word “archein”, meaning to rule; matriarchy is better characterized as societies that enjoy prosperity, harmony with nature, peace and egalitarianism.  All of the good stuff that we are looking to add abundantly to the world that we live in today.  To envision this transformed society, we look to the real-life examples of matriarchs that we can identify.  These are the historical and present-day societies (although few and rare) in which this was and is actively present. (3)

We’ll start with the Queendom of Kush.  Kush is the famous ancient African nation known as Nubia.  Nubia was the rival of Ancient Egypt, and ruled by a set of queens and queen mothers known as “Kandake”.  As women warrior queens, the Nubians controlled what is now Ethiopia, Sudan, and parts of Egypt. Lineage was recorded through the maternal side, not the paternal side. After their deaths, the queens of Kush were buried in their own pyramids filled with treasure.

Next there was a society which was called by the Romans, “The Land of Women”.  The Sitones, or Suevi, existed in first century BC in what is Scandinavia. Not much else is known about them.  Other Germanic and Celtic tribes often had women in places of both spiritual and political power.

A modern day example is the Mosuo, also called the Na.  They exist today as a small Chinese group living near the Chinese-Tibetan border. They actually refer to themselves as being matriarchal, and have been living that way in China for thousands and thousands of years.  As such, they’re one of the world’s last true matriarchies.

The Hopi or Hopi-Shi-nu-mu, “the peaceful people”, is an independent Pueblo tribe east of the Grand Canyon surrounded by a Navajo reservation. Other Native Americans refer to them as the “oldest of the people”, and the Hopi think of themselves as the first inhabitants of America. Their village, Oraibi, is in fact the oldest continuously occupied settlement in the United States. (2a) Traditional Hopi society is based on a system of kinship and clans which are passed through the maternal side of the family. Women own the land and garden plots, and are in charge of Hopi exports like arts and crafts; while the men are in charge of the farming, sheep, and livestock.

Follow me on this because now we are going to take a journey into the connections between the matriarchal societies of old and present. This illustrates a lineage between groups of people that carried on the principles of women-centered societies and their relevance.

There are theories that the Hopis are not just a remote civilization but instead have their roots in the most ancient of cultures—Sumeria.  This is due to the many strange coincidences between Hopi beliefs present today and the Sumerians beliefs of old. (4)

The Hopi believe the Creator of Man is a woman. The Sumerians believed the Creator of Man was a woman also. The Hopi believe the Father Creator is KA. The Sumerians believed the Father Essence was KA also. The Hopi believe Taiowa, the Sun God, is the Creator of the Earth. The Sumerians believe TA.EA was the Creator. The Hopi believe two brothers had guardianship of the Earth. The Sumerians believed two brothers had dominion over the Earth.  The parallels between these two very distant societies show us their common ties.

Now, by drawing a line through the Earth from the Hopi Reservation to the other side of the world, you would come out in Tibet. The Tibetan word for “sun” is the Hopi word for “moon”; and the Hopi word for “sun” is the Tibetan word for “moon”.

The Hopi prophecy and the Mayan 2012 prophecy had uncanny similarities. Like many other ancient cultures, both used the night sky through precession to determine key elements of their predictions. The Hopis horned serpent Awanyu resembles the Mayan Quetzacoatl; and so does the Hopi prophecy legend of the Pahana (long lost white brother), who is to return to save the people just as Quetzacoatl is slated to do. When the Hopis and the Mayans were visited by the Spanish in the 16th century, they both thought at first they were their lost prophet. It didn’t take long to realize they were the devil themselves kicking off the beginning of the age of the great forgetting or darkness for both cultures. (5)

What’s interesting here is that arguably one of the most ancient societies—Sumeria—has so many connections to the still thriving Hopis.  Also, the Chinese NA ethnic group is bordered with Tibet; and this group also has remarkable ties to the Hopis.  What runs through them all?  They were, or are, all matriarchal cultures.

And finally the Nubians existed in the time of Ancient Egypt.  We’ll get into that connection in the next article as it is an important clue to what may have occurred in our ancient past which brought about our current patriarchal social system.

Fascinating!  And inspiring as we look to see a different role for women in the creation of how we live. The question becomes, ‘are these societies remnants of a matriarchal age that was worldwide phenomenon stretching back to the beginning of the human race, or just anomalies in a sea of men-in-power’?  Is matriarchy possible to improve our world, or is patriarch all there is because that’s the culture we have lived in?

And, maybe the bigger question is, just who are we?   How are we showing up as a civilization with the point of view that drives our very existence?  Sadly, if you go by modern media, we’re basically a society of aggressive, greedy and violent beings wrecking the planet and each other in search of personal fulfillment.  Yikes, not pretty! These are the predominantly male qualities that reign free and easy when the feminine qualities are not equally tempering them.

Remember the Beatles song “All we need is love, Love is all we need?”  Who brings to the governance of our culture the old ideals of compassion, love, empathy and kindness?   It’s matriarchy that brings this home which are described as the female qualities.   When matriarchy shows up, the culture vastly improves in very important ways.

Research into the essential nature of human beings comes down to this:  are we human beings that fundamentally dominate or cooperate?    Researchers working with aboriginal and indigenous cultures will tell you that the greatest value in these societies is cooperation, with competition having a very low value.  In fact, competition that goes beyond certain limits is actually viewed to be a mental illness in that person.

Fast forward out of the jungle and into 2018 America scene – and you’ll observe that cooperation is valued almost not at all while competition is prized and rewarded.  Basically, as a society we honor the most successful competitors—the mentally ill people of indigenous cultures. I have observed that the new ‘tech’ culture is the new generation of patriarchy.  It’s a robust ‘wild west’ of competition that has little time for the needs of the human spirit, cooperation or generosity.

Where on Earth does this come from?   Western scientists will tell you without flinching that its roots are in Darwin.  Nature is all about ‘tooth and claw’, where there’s an alpha animal that put itself in charge and everyone around that person honors and respects him because he put himself in charge.  And that’s just the natural order of things.   But not all scientists accept this without questioning it.

This study gives some interesting insight, and highlights the questions women need to ask about the world. In the documentary I Am, researchers followed a herd of red deer to observe their behavior.  They were specifically watching the herd’s behavior around the need to move to a new watering hole.  What they observed turned out to be unexpected versus what they predicted.

Here’s the consideration.  For the deer, the decision to move the whole herd of them to another watering hole is not a small one.  They have to factor that they can’t go too soon because some of the deer won’t be have time to eat enough.  And, they can’t wait too long because some of the deer may become dehydrated.  Moreover, if they move at the wrong rate for the group then some of the herd might not be able to keep up and be picked off by predators.   What the researchers observed was a societal problem for the herd.  When do they go? Which hole do they go to?  And what is their decision- making process to collectively protect the group?

The obvious and what might be expected is that the largest, oldest alpha deer would make the decision.  Right?  And isn’t that pretty much the way that it works in the patriarchy?

women rule the world

Image source

But that’s not what the researchers found to be true in this study.  Instead, they saw something very different. At some point, a few deer would begin looking over at, for example, one or two of the nearby watering holes.  Then when a majority of deer were looking at one watering hole in particular, within a few minutes the entire herd would leave together to that particular watering hole.  Apparently, the deer were voting and the alpha animal was not in charge at all.  How clever.  Each was reporting the wisdom of the decision and signaling how the care of the whole was determined.  None were forced, bullied or lead.  They were together in the move.  This is how they protected the herd.

So, what about the Darwin explanation?   Well, apparently Darwin didn’t exactly say what the preponderance of scientists would quote him as saying — at least he may not have meant to have the impact on future generations that his work has had.  Their interpretations changed the ‘jist’ of his meaning.

In his book, Descent of Man, Darwin mentioned the phrase, “survival of the fittest” twice.   By contrast, he mentioned the word “love” over 90 times while describing our animal nature. (6)  He discussed the natural traits of all animals including cooperation and democracy. He actually discussed a sort of “Golden Rule” which mammals of all kinds live by.  He wrote, “Sympathy is the strongest instinct in human nature.”

Then, here’s what happened.  Darwin was popularized and interpreted by another famous author of the time, Aldous Huxley. Huxley apparently had a much darker view of human nature.  In his popularization of Darwin, Huxley asserted his idea that the natural world revolved around power over others and the strong dominating the weak.  This distorted picture of the animal world—including humans—then became the basis of Western culture.  The message became: To be selfish and self-interested is good because you’ll survive.

Tragically, those who championed and still champion Darwin have ignored that part of his research.  I say tragically because there are sound, valid reasons for why our true nature as mammals is that we are democratic, sympathetic and treat others as we would wish to be treated.   For example, a solitary human being would not survive, not to mention would ever be born.  Humans come into existence because two humans procreated.   We are determined by cooperation from the very moment of our conception.

And then there is the issue of learning language.  New humans would never learn to speak if other humans didn’t teach them.  And they wouldn’t know how to walk or all the other human behaviors that create the fabric of dependence on one another that is the true nature of our society.  As I once heard, the truth of who we are is that we are because we ‘belong’—not because we are able to dominate others.  We need the characteristics of matriarchy to surface, to grow strong in our world – because they are the characteristics of belonging!

In our arguably very broken Western society today, what will it take for us to feed one another, provide adequate housing and operate our economy based on our true nature of cooperation and dependence rather than the distorted, misinterpreted mantra of “survival of the fittest”? There are enough resources for all of us, how will we distribute them?  Will the roots of matriarchy blossom into fruit, or will excessive patriarchy rule?  How is it that a women-centered culture will do things differently?  How will we control and allocate resources?  Is matriarchy just fantasy, or is this new age of women the remedy that this world badly needs?

I come from a family of health care workers—doctors, EMTs, firemen—and the topic of how nature works is often what we talk about.  Over the Holidays I spoke with my brother, a family practice physician and educator who serves a poor, migrant community in Northern California.

Our mother had recently died after a lengthy, off-again, on-again battle with multiple diseases that wracked her body and took her life.  What my brother explained is this:  the fundamental law of nature is balance.  In a healthy human body, nothing takes more than it needs to function.  This law extends to all of nature—plants and animals taking only the food they need, entire ecosystems in balance because each of the parts takes only what it needs and no more.  But there is one instance in medicine where something in the body is so insatiable that it consumes everything around it until stopped—it’s called “cancer”.   It was cancer that killed my mother.

Our Western society is based on a cancerous nature where consuming more than is needed is prized above all.    And it’s come to be synonymous with “patriarchy.”  Matriarchy produces better outcomes – what are we waiting for?


  • Gynocentrism & Matriarchal Societies Throughout the Ages, Gaia.com

(2)  http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/e/eller-myth.html


Lisa is a small business expert integrating science with spirituality and her own personal experiences. Lisa helps others create lives of presence and purpose.

Lisa Broderick is a quantum change expert whose work integrates modern science with spirituality and her own personal experiences. She offers a unique approach for understanding consciousness by explaining not who we are, but what we are. Lisa’s work is for people around the world interested in why things happen to them.

She integrates supernatural phenomena, spirituality and modern science to explain why things happen to people, so that they can live more successful lives. She writes and teaches principles that help rationalize why things happen in ways that are easy to understand, encouraging and ultimately uplifting for anyone in search of answers.

What Lisa shares comes from a lifetime of extraordinary abilities as a result of having supernatural experiences. She has begun using her knowledge and abilities to help others live lives of purpose and presence, both personally and in business. Her work quantum leaps individuals to higher levels of consciousness, heightened perception and inspired creativity because they learn answers to the questions they have about their lives.

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Tax Time and How to Relieve the Stress http://womenswealth.money/tax-time-relieve-stress/ http://womenswealth.money/tax-time-relieve-stress/#respond Fri, 23 Feb 2018 15:35:11 +0000 http://womenswealth.money/?p=20869 If you’re feeling stressed over taxes at this time of year — then this article is for you.  Because I want to help you get over the tax time flutters and on to enjoying the months ahead for profit making! Here’s what I hear, things like this:  “I haven’t done my taxes for three years.”  […]

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If you’re feeling stressed over taxes at this time of year — then this article is for you.  Because I want to help you get over the tax time flutters and on to enjoying the months ahead for profit making!

Here’s what I hear, things like this:  “I haven’t done my taxes for three years.”  “I’m terrified every year at tax time.”  “Taxes are so confusing, I just get overwhelmed and put off dealing with any of it!”  Yikes, that’s enough to slow you down and dampen your incentive.  Let’s get past this!

I’m here to help you bust past fear and confusion and get on with life.  You CAN do this!”  Let’s get busy on this one.

When you do your taxes, you move out of the past and into the future.  It can be that great feeling of cleaning out your garage or your closet.  When you get it done, you know where you stand, feel organized and you are ready for full speed ahead. 

A Walk in Her Shoes

I’ve devoted my career to helping women plan their financial lives, and first things first — I’ve noticed that many women need to start with getting their taxes up to date.  Life situations such as divorce, health, and others can be a bump in the road that throws women off track, and behind in taxes.  This is common, and if it is you, you can find the help you need. 

I’ve seen women get very anxious and derailed over taxes.  I worked with a woman who put off filing her taxes for more than three years.  When I met with her, here was her story. She was still grieving over the end of her marriage.  Truthfully, she said,  “I just couldn’t face filing as a single person.”  I felt compassion for her. Life changes are tough. 

But, then we tackled the problem together.  I let her know that this was one part of the process and now the next part was to move forward. I was there to help her by assisting her to plan to take one step at a time.  She began to see that by cleaning up the past years now was her time to move forward into a stronger future. 

Life had more ahead for her.  When her taxes were finished and filed, it turned out that she was owed refunds for all of the years she had not filed.  By completing the steps to getting her life in order, she moved well past her grief at being single and had a nice sum in her savings account.  That’s the kind of win I like to see!

Listen Carefully…

Here’s my advice. You can relieve the stress by starting with good organizational habits right away. With a bit of up-front effort, tax time can shift from a dreadful chore to a walk in the park. This is when you collect your tax records and organize them for ready access.

A friend of mine started her own business.   She was so excited by the work she was doing and all the good that she was delivering.  In her excitement though, she had neglected to keep good track of her income and expenses.  Kind of important when it comes to tax time!

She hadn’t taken the time to establish a business bank account to separate moneys, and her business was mixed with her personal accounts.  Thus, when it came time to do her taxes she had a big mess and didn’t know where to begin.  It took some time to get things sorted out but eventually she was able to go back and organize her business into its own set of books. She opened a business bank account with a debit card.  By the next tax year, it was all so much easier.

No getting around it, good record keeping is essential for a smooth tax preparation experience.  You can make it easy on yourself (and your tax preparer) by keeping all tax documents for the year in one place.  Sure, it can be a shoebox if you want, but perhaps a nicely labeled file folder is even better — maybe a bright red one so that it will be obvious when you are ready to gather up the stuff and head off to do taxes. 

These days, encrypted digital file storage allows tech savvy organizers to keep clutter to a minimum.  Chose a system and then be consistent. When a tax document comes in the mail, such as an interest earnings statement, interest paid on a mortgage, your W-9 or other earnings report — bundle it together for tax time.

Take My Advice

LOL: Here’s indispensable advice! Keep a solid record of income and expenses. Report all of your income, and take as many expenses as you possibly can.  After all, Uncle Sam does not write you a ‘thank you’ note if you overpay him!  But he will get very testy if you don’t report the proper amount of income. 

If you own a small business or rental real estate, it is necessary to keep impeccable books of record.  A clear accounting of the income and expenses associated with your enterprise is crucial at tax time!  And, you want to demonstrate that you have a clear understanding of how your business is running and profiting.

This is an excellent area to outsource if it is not something you love to do or are particularly good at doing.  Be aware of knowing when to seek outside help and asking around for reputable bookkeeping referrals to assist your business.  Some women I’ve come to work with are so classic — they feel like they need to do it all.  They are mothers, wives, daughters, friends and business owners and they truly want to be the best in each and every role.  What inevitably starts to happen, though, is that you cannot keep up and something has to give.  I say, figure out what is essential and outsource what is not. And, make your life easier!

Just Breath

Remember too if things get busy and your organization starts to slide, don’t get down on yourself.  Take a breath, assess the situation and make a plan for how to get back on track.  Sometimes it helps to break up a big chore into bite size pieces.  Reward yourself for incremental progress and before you know it you will be back on top of your game again.

Do you need more tax help?  And is now the time to consider what you don’t know but may well be benefited by learning?  Another good friend of mine was running a very successful therapy practice. Then one day she told me how worried she was about what would happen when she retired.  She was disclosing to me in confidence that she needed more understanding and tax help to set up her future successfully. 

She told me that since she had left her old job and then started her own business, she’d stopped her contributions to her retirement account.  When I asked her why she had changed her strategy for saving, she said that she did not feel like she could afford to save because taxes were eating into her profits.  Now she was worried that this was a short term solution but a long term problem.  And, she was right. 

We had a long discussion about the many different options that were available to her to set aside money for retirement and reduce her tax bill right now.  At first she was embarrassed that she, a successful business owner, did not know any of this.  But better to be a little embarrassed than to not ask and explore the ways to set up future finances.  Cash is a reality.  And, she was curious about how she would have cashflow for her whole life. 

This opened up a larger conversation for us.  I suggested to her that there is learning to be done for the ‘ins and outs’ of the tax code and how to manage money for a lifetime.  It can take time and sometimes the help of a good friend or financial planner to make the best decisions in this complex world.

Summing Up

At tax time you will want to review maximizing pre-tax savings opportunities as a great way to grow your nest egg and save on taxes at the same time.  When you understand what is going on in the rest of your tax picture, then you can then focus on things like increasing 401(k), 403(b) or IRA savings for retirement and contributing to a Health Savings Account for medical expenses. This is when you will want to ask about what can best work for you. 

And, here’s the scoop If you are a small business owner. It is essential to prepare for your own retirement because no one else is going to do it for you!  Do you know that  a range of tools exist to help you be better prepared for your later years.  SEP IRAs and solo 401(k)s are two popular options.  Of course, as with everything related to taxes, there are angles like rules, limits, account types and pros and cons to consider.  This is where some expert advice might come in handy.

So it’s that time, to ready your tax organization and filing.  Whether you prepare your own tax return or work with a professional, the more organized you can be all through the year, the less stress you will feel at tax time.

Ready, set go — and reach out for help.  Find someone you trust who will work with you side by side and is willing to listen to your concerns and answer all of your questions, even the ones you think might show that you are not fully up to speed.  By taking the time to create a plan to get organized good things happen.  With your momentum gather a good team around you.

You can leave the old confusion and anxiety behind and step into a world of peace of mind — and opportunity for your future prosperity.  And, you’ll love that!

Jennipher Lommen is a Certified Financial Planner ™  and Enrolled Agent. She is the founder of Wildflower Financial, a fee-only financial planning and registered investment advisory firm in Santa Cruz, CA.  In her practice, Jennipher focuses on helping women and their families build confidence, security and abundance in every aspect of their financial lives. You can find out more about her here!

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What’s Your Money Thinking? http://womenswealth.money/whats-money-thinking/ http://womenswealth.money/whats-money-thinking/#respond Fri, 16 Feb 2018 19:46:00 +0000 http://womenswealth.money/?p=20863 Money is a funny thing.  Funny in that our brains make up stories about our relationship to money in ways that often challenge financial well-being.  See the stories below from women who have openly shared their thinking about money with us. Do you recognize yourself in any of these stories?  If you do, reflect on […]

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Money is a funny thing.  Funny in that our brains make up stories about our relationship to money in ways that often challenge financial well-being.  See the stories below from women who have openly shared their thinking about money with us.

Do you recognize yourself in any of these stories?  If you do, reflect on how your thinking is effecting your checkbook.  And, can you question your thinking to change the results you’ll be creating throughout this year?

You are more than you think you are.  This is so true for all of us.  ‘Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do’…said Benjamin Spock!  Unwrap you’re old thinking and make way for new possibilities.  Now’s the time!

Here are Stories hat women have told us.  Do you find yourself in crazy thinking?

  • Here’s Anna who’s been suffering from low self esteem —

“I was told by my broker brother that I’m too dumb to understand financial


  • Kate who was trying to buy affection —

“I loaned lots of money to friends only to find out that I didn’t get the appreciation 

          I was seeking, or my money back.”

  • Jenny who put everything on hold but her career —

“I have an MBA from Harvard and still don’t know how to do my financial life.  I

          have earned a lot and have lots of furs and jewelry but no cash and no financial


  • Bonnie who just got that she needs to make a shift in her money thinking —

“I get it!  School’s just don’t teach you this stuff.  It’s a matter of making a

         psychological shift within yourself — rewiring your whole approach to money


  • Janet who was caught in the ‘perfect girl’ syndrome —

“I dedicated many years of my life to a business my husband started.  I did the

          jobs he didn’t want to do.  I thought that if I was good enough at them then he

          would take care of me in return.”

  • Sarah who was the family bookkeeper —

“I took care of the finances in my marriage yet I was surprised to lean that there is

       a vast difference between the bookkeeping I did and thinking about and planning

       for my future.”

  • Susan who was afraid of being a bag lady —

“I managed the money in my relationship but was still afraid that I’d end up a bag


  • Ashley who’s caught in the credit card nightmare —

 “I’m 22 years old and have 7 credit cards that are at their maximums.  Now I’m

         really frustrated because everything I earn has to go to my credit cards and I

         wonder if in my whole life I’ll get out of this.”

  • Liz who is holding on to the hope of a White Knight —

“I’m beginning to do my own financial life; but if I get married, will it be different and

        I won’t have to do this anymore?’   

  • Jamie who thought that she could earn her way out —

 “I thought that if I just made more money I could earn my way out of the problem.  I

        worked on this almost to the point of killing myself!  I didn’t get that having cash

        was a matter of temperament and not of income.”    

  • Rachael who’s in the dark about her family finances —

“I’m married and have a credit card and a household checking account in my name that

my husband funds.  But have no access to other monies that he has earned and

invested while I’ve raised the children and done all the socially appropriate

        things to support him.  I worry about what our financial picture looks like — I have

        no access and no idea.”

  • Jodi who is struggling with old beliefs —

 “I believed that earning more than my basic needs would be greedy.  I got that

       message from my family since they never allowed themselves to dream more than

       their basic needs. I’ve always settled for ‘just enough’ and now see that my

       thinking really limits my choices.”

  • Leah who is a woman with money —

I can make a lot of money but I haven’t really invested a whole lot — it is just sitting

       in a money market account.  I haven’t taken the time to slow down long enough to

       make plans for my financial future.”

  • Ruth who just received an inheritance —

“I recently inherited more money than I ever dreamed of having.  It is such a

       change for me — I am scared that I have a lot to learn and I’m afraid that I could

       make a mistake and blow it.”

  • Michelle who’s been suffering from illusions —

 “I married a man with a large trust fund.  He has poor business skills and has

      frittered away the money.  Although we live a public life that looks really good, we

      personally have large credit card balances and debt that keeps growing.  If he dies,

      I’ll have no income — if he lives, where will I get the money to take care of him?  My

      only apparent option is to divorce him in order to protect myself because of his

      financial choices and because I didn’t have a plan of my own.”

  • Erica who is looking for a financial advocate —

“I took the steps to secure my future by finding myself an advisor — but was

       disillusioned to find that the advisor was unable to consider a woman’s viewpoint. 

       My husband and I were working with the same person and it was a woman but she

       didn’t embrace women’s issues.  I think she though that only my husband was the


  • Maria who’s caught in the femininity myth —

I’m just beginning to see that I hold myself back because I’m afraid to make more

        money or have more investments than my partner.  ….Because then I might not be

        loved— how can a partner take care of me if I can take care of myself?”

Do any of these resonate with you?  Or, maybe you can now identify your own version of some twisted thinking around money.  I’ve had to undo many conflicting thoughts myself!

They come from parents, teachers, the culture and so much more that shaped your money thinking and you absorbed — without even thinking about it!

My Mother used to say — ‘it’s as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one.  My Father used to say — never marry for money, it’s cheaper to borrow it!  No which one is it?  Silly, but we all encounter conflicting views about money, and without sorting them out it can leave you stuck in money madness.

The point is that you’ll have to do some digging into your money thinking.  What are you holding on to that diminishes your bank balance or improves it?  What is worth getting rid of because it’s just plain crazy — or at least is not getting you to where you want to go?

Star the comments above that speak to you and make a list of your own — and plan this year to listen to your thinking about money and shift as needed!  You’re financial future depends upon it — something worth addressing!

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The Buzz About Bitcoin http://womenswealth.money/the-buzz-about-bitcoin/ http://womenswealth.money/the-buzz-about-bitcoin/#respond Mon, 11 Dec 2017 14:00:10 +0000 http://womenswealth.money/?p=20823 The buzz surrounding Bitcoin is insane and rightfully so. People who've jumped in early and stayed have made obscene amounts of money. How can you get it in?

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Girl holding white paper sheet with Bitcoin logo

Bitcoin is a global currency that you must learn about because it will be money power in your life going forward. Pretty soon you’ll have a debit card that you can use to access your account for transactions at the grocery store, Amazon and other retailers, paying with Bitcoin. Most importantly, Bitcoin will grow to make you money.

Wow, you say! You mean I’ll spend and invest value in Bitcoin instead of dollars? Yes, you will! The leaders of the pack are already doing this.

Bitcoin was first created in January of 2009, by a person or persons who were using the alias Satoshi Nakamoto. There are so many interesting things to learn about Bitcoin, including that the transactions are made without banks, who serve to control the national currency of the country you live! It’s fascinating to be part of this significant moment of history which many liken to the start of the internet. We are still in the early days of this frontier opportunity.

“My success story is that I’m growing wealth with Bitcoin personally.”

I’m Nancy, and I’m passionate about sharing this with you, woman-to-woman. Because my success story is that I’m growing wealth with Bitcoin personally. I embrace that women, you and me, need to build wealth and I am sharing my path to doing this with you!

Here’s how Bitcoin works. Bitcoin is a worldwide payment system; it is the first ever decentralized digital currency. It is decentralized because it operates without a central repository (bank) or single administrator. The fact that there is no central bank involved here is a very important part of understanding this new form of currency.

‎You may ask, if there is no bank(s) or central place where Bitcoin is kept, even online in a single website, how is it managed? Well, Bitcoin functions similarly to how the banks that you already know about work — in that banks often have many branches. This network of banks and branches interact to transact the movement of funds through checks, debit cards, and credit cards.

How does the Bitcoin system move currency through the internet when you use it to pay someone or receive it from someone else when you transact business? There are technical words to describe this. It would take an article in itself to describe in detail the mechanism behind the movement of Bitcoin. In the interest of time and space, and also a little disinterest in all those amazing but boring details for most of us, we’ll try to make the explanation as succinct as possible with fewer technical terminology.

"A Norwegian student spent $27 on Bitcoins, forgot about them, and a few years later realized they were worth $886,000."How AMAZING is this? 🤑Had to share! 👍

Posted by Bitcoin & Crypto on Thursday, June 29, 2017

You will hear Bitcoin referred to as Digital Cash, Virtual Currency, Tokens, Electronic Currency Cryptocurrency and BTC (฿).

Bitcoin ‘mining.’

Bitcoin banking is called ‘Mining’ because it takes place through computers that are located throughout the world and function systematically. The computers in this virtual network have special coding in them to capture the payment processing transactions of Bitcoin. The fascinating part about how they do this is that they have to solve a mathematical equation that is encrypted in each transaction’s serial number. It’s a bit of a race because the first computer to solve the math gets to execute the transaction and capture the service fee for doing the work. Just like mining takes work to dig out the gold, so too do the computers have to do work to get the transactions to go through them to get the mining fees.

Many of these computers are stationed in Iceland because of the low cost of electricity there to run the computers, since they are operating 24/7 to move Bitcoin transactions worldwide. Just like how your email gets to someone else through their email address, the Bitcoin transactions find their way to these computers and, thus, Bitcoin is moving around globally.

The Blockchain.

The entire chain of computers worldwide is called the Blockchain. You’ll hear this terminology to describe the main trunk of transactions that speed the movement of a cryptocurrency. This is the main highway that takes Bitcoin from here to there, and all around.

There are two types of ‘Forks’ that can occur in the Blockchain. A fork is when the lineage of transactions literally splits into different directions. This is like a fork in the road. There are hard forks and soft forks. In the cryptocurrency world of Bitcoin, a fork is when there is a change in the rules of the Blockchain or parts of the chain are in disagreement. Hard forks are intentionally imposed by the developers of the Blockchain. Soft forks get resolved in the process of the ongoing completion of Bitcoin transactions. It’s the process of innovation that goes on continually in the Blockchain as it grows.

Chart | As the Bitcoin surges by the second, here’s a quick explainer on the bitcoin economy

Posted by moneycontrol.com on Friday, December 8, 2017

You can spend your Bitcoins in over 70 countries and in thousands of stores and businesses.

Bitcoin is now accepted and used in at least 70 countries, in thousands of stores and other businesses, including Whole Foods, Target, Microsoft, Google, Virgin Airlines, Overstock.Com and more. Did you know that you can pay for your Starbucks and Subway sandwich with Bitcoin? Even the Pink Cow Diner in Tokyo accepts it!

Most of us have transitioned to at least a resigned acceptance of online banking by now. We can take a photo of a check, and into our bank account it goes. We can transfer money from one bank account to another. We can pay our bills automatically from our online bank account and see our account balances.

With the payment system, PayPal, you can easily pay for goods and services in this country or another one. You can send money to friends and family. These days nearly everyone has a PayPal account. You fund the account from your bank account, and if you sell goods, you can fund it that way too.

Bitcoin is simply another currency like the American Dollar, Canadian Dollar, Japanese Yen, or whatever currency is used in any given country. It is an international currency that knows no borders, except for one thing. It cannot be actually put in your pocket. But wait, it can, if your cell phone is in your pocket! It is all accomplished similarly to online banking.

Did you know? You can use bitcoin at all of these major retailers!!

Posted by Bitcoin Guide USA on Friday, December 1, 2017

How to get your Bitcoin ‘Wallet.’

To get Bitcoin, you simply go to an online Bitcoin ‘Wallet’ website, where you register for your own account. Then, you’ll use your conventional debit or credit card, or hook up your bank account directly to your Wallet. This will facilitate your purchase of Bitcoin. Within your Wallet, you can buy any amount or partial amount of Bitcoin for the going rate at the moment you transact the purchase. Be prepared to set up security verifications for this Wallet account. You’ll want your Bitcoin securely protected.

There may be a fee to make your Bitcoin purchase, similar to banks when you purchase money orders, wire money, pay bills on-line etcetera. When your purchase is complete, you will have Bitcoin (also known as BTC) in your Wallet. With this, you now have the option to purchase goods, send Bitcoin to someone else, use it from your Wallet with a debit card or let it sit in your Wallet to grow.

Your Wallet holds your Bitcoin for you, just like your checking account holds dollars for you. You purchase Bitcoin just like you would when you go to Canada and need Canadian dollars. You give American dollars for Canadian dollars and get whatever amount your exchange of American dollars will buy based on the exchange rate of that day. If an American dollar is worth $1.19 in Canadian money, then you will give your US dollars to the bank and it will give you $1.19 back in Canadian money, and often charge you a fee for making the exchange.

If you don’t want to keep your Bitcoin serial numbers on the internet, you can also purchase a ‘Hard Wallet’ and keep it in your personal safe, or private place. But remember, you can only use it through the internet, connecting to the Blockchain, so never lose your Hard Wallet. That would be like losing a big wad of bills on the sidewalk never to be seen again!

How do you pay for things with Bitcoin, you ask? Well, you simply go to your online Wallet, go to “send” and a spot for a special code called an address will appear. Whoever you are sending Bitcoin to will give you a long ‘Address Code’ which consists of letters and numbers unique to that business or person’s incoming Bitcoin wallet code. You paste the code in.

Then, put in the amount of value, either in your currency or the Bitcoin amount, and that amount of Bitcoin will transfer to their wallet account out of your wallet account when you click “send”. A barcode will also appear which you can use when you are physically in a sidewalk store. That store can just scan your barcode and you will have paid for your item. Presto! It’s that simple — your Bitcoin account will be debited and the store’s account will be credited — electronically!

Setting up your Bitcoin wallet.

Bitcoin’s value rises as the dollar declines.

Some want to know — what is it that backs up the value of your Bitcoin or other cryptocurrency? For instance, is it gold, diamonds, oil, or silver? It is quite simply the supply and demand that creates the value and therefore backs up Bitcoin. The price of anything the world over is governed by the universal law of supply and demand. The American dollar is hardly backed by gold anymore, as we all know. You can research that. Money is just printed paper. It free floats around in our economy, in big businesses and big banks — according to supply and demand.

Here’s the rub. When the American government needs more money to pay its bills, it just prints more money! This devalues the dollars that you and I have tucked away.

So, what makes Bitcoin different from than typical currency? Nothing really, in the sense that it is a means of paying and accepting value.

And at the same time, Bitcoin offers different opportunities. Unlike our dollars, Bitcoin can be used anywhere in the world as currency. And, you can transact your business privately because it does not go through the federal banking system. Most importantly though, Bitcoin has been appreciating in value while the dollar has been depreciating in value. Bitcoin has grown in value tremendously since its inception — with no apparent end in sight over the coming years. This makes it an investment opportunity to be studied.

There is a limit on how much Bitcoin can exist, just like collector’s items and limited-edition prints, a pre-set number. A print with a limited-edition printing is usually sold at a particular price. When the number of prints available becomes more and more limited through sales, the price can go up. Once the limited edition is all sold out, the price can balloon because so few are available. This accounts for the increase in value for Bitcoin.

Just like a dollar bill and limited-edition prints, each Bitcoin transaction has a lengthy number attached to it that is unique to the amount of Bitcoin in that transaction, like a serial number.

Bitcoin’s limited-edition production number is Twenty-One Million. That’s it. Really, that’s it! That’s all that will go into circulation.

Bitcoin just broke $8,000 and has kept on rising: http://on.mktw.net/2hPmozg

Posted by MarketWatch on Monday, November 20, 2017

In 2009, Bitcoin was released for just .00025 cents. Now it’s worth thousands.

As of now, seventeen and a half million Bitcoins have been released for purchase. Soon all twenty-one million will be released. Then, for anyone to get Bitcoin that has not already gotten some, people will sell their Bitcoin for more and more money just like those limited-edition prints. As it gets closer to that final release of all the available Bitcoin, the price theoretically goes up and up due to the limited supply.

Bitcoin was released in 2009 at the low, low price of just .00025 cents, when Lazlo Hanyecz paid 10,000 Bitcoin to purchase the first actual product with it: two pizzas! That marked the first concrete valuation of Bitcoin. Well, as they say, the rest is history — with a few ups and downs early on with this new way of buying and selling with Bitcoin, the value of Bitcoin has been on a steady upward growth. At the end of January 2018, it was valued at over $10,000

Now that we have covered the basics of how Bitcoin works, the age-old question appears. How do I gather the most Bitcoin in the fastest time, just like good ole fashioned money? Could the predictions that one Bitcoin could be worth $1,000,000 by 2020 really happen? Who knows, but the record so far shows that owning Bitcoin has led to wealth.

Sir Richard Branson expresses his thoughts on Bitcoin

Posted by Grumpy Old Folk on Wednesday, September 13, 2017

3 Ways to grow your Bitcoins.

There are several ways to make your Bitcoin make more Bitcoin, and grow it.

Let’s look at our options.

1. Let it sit in your wallet.

The first way is to just exchange some US dollars for Bitcoin in a Wallet and let it sit there to appreciate as the price (value) of Bitcoin goes up. You can see, by googling it on the internet, that the price fluctuates almost every day and sometimes several times a day. The total amount of Bitcoin in your Wallet will be reflected by the price at the moment you look in your Wallet.

2. Invest in mining.

The second way to make money with Bitcoin is to participate in Mining. The safest way is to buy into a well-known mining company, a large one, and become a member miner — like owning a small piece of a bank and profiting from fees that are charged for processing transactions.

I’m happy to have invested a little in Mining as well. I have invested in a larger company that processes Bitcoin transactions through their computers and I then get a fraction of the mining fee.

3. Do some trading.

The third way to have your Bitcoin make you more Bitcoin is to trade it. That simply means that you hook up with a reputable trading platform that buys and sells Bitcoin at the various exchanges throughout the world. The traders’ mission is to buy ‘low’ and sell ‘high’ as many times a day as they see fit to make trading profits. In this way, you make your piece of the profit depending upon how much of an investment you have made. Some of these trading platforms, rather than spending millions of dollars in advertising each year, will offer word of mouth or referral commission for your recommending them as a reputable trading platform to others. Bonus!!

How to find people, companies, and trading platforms you can trust.

Critical questions: So how do we weed through all the individuals, companies, and trading platforms to know which are reputable? Shouldn’t they all be reputable? Well, yes, they should. But, unfortunately, they are not all reputable. Some are scammers trying to get your Bitcoin at all costs and will not fulfill any obligation to you once they have their hot little hands on your Bitcoin. The likelihood of your getting it back? Little to none. How do you know if a company is real and honest and suitable for your Bitcoin transactions and your investment for your future returns?

My answer to that is pretty simple. Research! Research and find out how long companies have been in business, who the owners are, the transparency in the company’s mission and history, and who do you know already working with them that can recommend them.

The latter is your most important criteria. At least it was for me. Ploughing through all the false news makes my mind reel. Some people will write a review on a company and say it is bad, then simply advertise their company in that same critical review. So those with ulterior motives can never be trusted. Sometimes a bad review is done because there will be thousands of people searching to see if there is a bad review, and then if they don’t have a similar product, or even if they do and advertise it there, they will sell multiple spots on their page to random advertisers. If you see any of those things, you know that there is a definite possibility that the review cannot be trusted. If you see an amazing review about a company, there could also be ulterior motives there too, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that the company or its claimed products are sound. How do we weed through them all and trust that we have picked a reputable, sound one?

#Facts 😉

Posted by Bitcoin & Crypto on Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Things I learned from my Bitcoin Mentor.

For me, the name is Jake! Jake is my Bitcoin mentor. He started buying and mining and trading in Bitcoin long before I did, and he is the only reason I am able to write this article today. Jake told me about Bitcoin when it was still a baby in diapers, when it was just $234. He called me on my cell and began telling me about this online currency, this virtual currency that you could not put in your pocket but you could buy things with. At first this sounded crazy to me!

I was very busy at the time with my shoulder holding my cell phone up to my ear and both hands busy caring for an East African Crowned Crane that had a head injury and could not walk as a result. Did I tell you that I volunteer full time at an animal rescue? I digress. I only half listened to Jake, with a few well-placed “uh huhs,” and “Oh, wow’s”. And “you don’t say’s”. Really, I had no idea what Jake was talking about. It was way to “out there” for me to comprehend at that moment.

Fast forward to Bitcoin appreciating to $1,500.

Jake called me. “Did you get any Bitcoin when I told you to at $234?”

“No, Jake. I didn’t have a clue what you were talking about. Sorry.”, I admitted.

“Well,” Jake said, “it is now $1,500 per Bitcoin. It has gone up more than $1,200 since I last spoke with you about it.”

“Ok Jake,” I sheepishly replied. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to put $100 in a Wallet and turn it into Bitcoin,” he stated firmly.

I agreed. Jake showed me how to do that. He walked me through every step online. I now had a tiny piece of Bitcoin. Just like a dollar is divided into four quarters, ten dimes, twenty nickels and a hundred pennies, cryptocurrency too is divided into fractions of the whole. If something costs $4.79 in dollars, there is an equal amount to that in Bitcoin.

A month or so later, I came into $1,000 as a gift, a great blessing. I was told by the giver to spend it on myself and not give it to the rescue, an assigned task difficult for me to fulfill. I called Jake and asked him what I should do with the money. He had me invest it in a mining operation and walked me through the entire process. I again had no idea what I was doing but I trusted Jake.

Fast forward again eighteen months to June of this year, 2017. I got a call from Jake. He asked me how much Bitcoin and exchange value in dollars I had in my Wallet and on the mining platform. “I had no idea,” I told him. I had never visited either place again after my one and only visit to each where I deposited money. Although I had become interested in this new frontier and did more researching and studying about Bitcoin. It took me multiple days to get my online accounts. I had forgotten which email I used and my passwords.

Lo and behold! In my Wallet where I had deposited $100 just over a year before, there was $650 in Bitcoin. I could not believe it. In the Mining platform where I had put the $1,000 there was an astonishing $12,000 in value! Jake advised me to leave 75% in and let it continue working for me and earning me more Bitcoin, and to send the remaining liquid Bitcoin to my Wallet. Then he had a new cryptocurrency growth platform for me to put my earnings into. At this point I believed whatever Jake said and quickly agreed to move my liquid Bitcoin to this trading platform immediately.

Bitcoin’s worked for me, and continues to work for me.

That was June of 2017. Now every day I wake up excited to see what my daily earnings are and am incredulous about the amount of earnings I have in this platform! It’s worked for me, and continues to work for me. This platform prides itself in delivering a technology that you won’t find anywhere else. They are enabling “smaller” investors to finally get involved in the Bitcoin markets and have real success, just like me.

Through the development of their fully automated trading software, they have consistently delivered outstanding results. And they are committed to continuing to do so far into the future. I learned that it is finally possible to get involved in these highly complex and highly profitable markets, without any expertise of my own, what is necessary for me to develop my financial future.

You can contact me, Nancy Nunke at hnhrescue@aol.com or Joan Perry at Joan@Perryinvest.com directly, if you’d like to learn more. I hope that I have inspired you to explore how you can become wealthier too! And to learn more about Bitcoin!

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Ten Tips For Women To Control Christmas Spending http://womenswealth.money/control-christmas-spending/ http://womenswealth.money/control-christmas-spending/#respond Thu, 07 Dec 2017 14:31:54 +0000 http://womenswealth.money/?p=20814 If I was Santa Claus…I would bring you a big bag of money and drop it right at your feet for Christmas!  Yipppeee,  wouldn’t that be cheerful?  I’m betting this is a present that you’d have many uses for, and happily accept.  After all, while money ‘does not buy happiness’, having money in your own […]

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beautiful young woman in a red skirt and santa claus hat on a light background celebrates christmas

If I was Santa Claus…I would bring you a big bag of money and drop it right at your feet for Christmas!  Yipppeee,  wouldn’t that be cheerful?  I’m betting this is a present that you’d have many uses for, and happily accept.  After all, while money ‘does not buy happiness’, having money in your own checking account can bring ease and comfort to your daily life — and put a big smile on your face to boot.

So, why is it that we part with our money so easily?  ‘Shinny object’, ‘squirrel’ — opps, your attention is diverted, and there goes the money from your hand (and mine too).  And, this Holiday time is well designed by retailers to intoxicate you into handing over your cash.  And, heaven forbid! – use your credit card!

What’s to be done, Sister?  We’ll hope for Santa to bring you a big pile of money with your efforts and contributions.  One approach is to ‘get’ more money — and did you know that people who ‘get’ more money also count their pennies?  One way or another, life will be more comfortable with cash to take care of your needs.

So what are ten things that can add up the cents and keep dollars in your checking account?  Or as Ben Franklin used to say ‘a penny saved is a penny earned’.  You know in my early years, I used to blow that off.  Like what did Ben know anyway?  P.S….he was only one of the wisest men accounted for in history and had experience and wisdom to share with me — but what did he know?  I bucked his wisdom — and my stomach twisted and turned when I had more ‘month’ than ‘money’.

Since the ‘Santa dropping it at your feet’ is hopeful, and worth requesting from the jolly old fellow— the better part of wisdom is to get conscious about tracking your money.  And in this season it takes particular intent to comfortably and gracefully relate to your money.  Will you still have cash at the end of December?  Will you end the year personally making a profit, in other words, earning more money than you spend?  What a concept that is.  This too would be a great Christmas present to yourself!

Here’s how to give this gift to you!

  1. Cut up your credit cards. Don’t just put them in a your bottom drawer — chuck them!  Cut them up and live as a ‘girl with cash’.  Either you have cash in your checking account for that purchase or you don’t.  When you don’t — you don’t.  The best way to keep track of your cash is to only spend cash.
  2. If the cash in your checking account is not meeting your needs —how about getting a holiday job to add some extra? It could be anywhere from dog walking to holiday gift wrapping in a store to whatever works for you.  You have gifts to offer and be paid for — be creative!
  3. Get a cup of tea and sit down with your list of people who you want to share gifts with this season. What do they really want from you that would most fill their hearts?  Is it a letter, a hand-made gift or something that you specially create — is it wrapped creatively in newspaper with artwork that you did for them?  In a world that is suffering, how you reach out in love is the best gift to offer.  What can you do that expresses your love, and respects your pocketbook?
  4. Can you do another kind of gift than a ‘purchased’ gift. Could you make a cute card with a gift certificate in it that entitles the other person to something you would do:  take care of their pet(s), mow the lawn six times, clean the house, plan a picnic or something that you just know that the other person would appreciate and you could do.  This can be really fun and creative.  Offer to have an ‘experience’ with that someone, rather than buying them something — they will probably remember this far more than something that you buy for them.  Make your gift a long handwritten list of why you are grateful for them — I have kept a treasured gift like this for many years.
  5. Shop for best values. I’ve seen ‘name brands’ offered for sale at discount retailers.  This year, I bought a Coach leather jacket at Ross for my guy, Lululemon sports pants at the Outlet Store and a pretty handbag on tradesy.com — all for great prices!  This meant fun good presents and gentle impact on my cash.
  6. Give Gift Cards. While there are more often sales before Christmas now — big saves are handed out in January.  If you give a gift card, then your special someone can get more for less after the Christmas retail season.
  7. Pare Your List Down. Are there people who you have on your gift giving list — that maybe could be taken off, or at least gifted but in a less expensive way?  Is there a way to simplify your gift giving?  Could you put together a nice basket of fruit, make cookies or maybe just send on old-fashioned Christmas card with a note?
  8. Review your bank balances. Opps, running out of cash?  Get creative and realistic. You can’t ‘buy’ happiness for you or anyone else — you can only give your love.  Giving away all your money in hopes of making the season merry — will not make you merry in the end.  How much is in your account, how much is left, and what will keep you safe and secure are your considerations.
  9. Shop ahead. Plan your Christmas gifts ahead of time so that you’re not rushed at the last minute and tempted to spend just to get it done.  Believe it or not, I usually have my Christmas shopping done in September or so, that way I can spread out the purchase cost and find the best values.
  10. Write a Comment in the space below. Tell me what you are doing to be cash happy during this Holiday season.  Do you already own something that you are going to gift to someone else because you know that they’ll love it too, and reserve your cash?  Is there a special picture to hand frame and spread your love to someone on your list?  Share — I’d love to hear from you!

Concerned Expressive Mixed Race Woman Wearing Winter Clothes Holding Shopping Bags and Piggybank Isolated on White Background.Here’s wishing you a jolly Holiday season.  Here’s wishing you money in your checking account, happiness in your spirit and contentment with what you already have in your life.

If you haven’t mastered all of this for this Holiday season — well, it’s a process and now you’ve got something to look forward to creating in the next ones.  The important part is no credit cards and ‘happy with cash’.  You’ll make progress in your financial life this way.

Now, I take advice from Ben.  He said, ‘“Don’t Give Too Much for the Whistle”.  That makes me laugh when I need to redirect my money thinking.

This quote comes from a story that happened during Benjamin Franklin’s childhood. When he was seven, he saw another boy blowing a whistle and wanted the toy for himself. He offered the other boy all his money in exchange for the whistle. He later learned that he had paid more than four times what the whistle was actually worth. He learned an important lesson that many people still need to learn: don’t overpay for items.

This Holiday Season, watch what you are paying for ‘whistles’!  Keep your cash safely stashed, and come into the New Year with more in your savings that you had last year at this time.  That will make this a joyous season all the way around!







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Burning Man In Black Rock City and Money http://womenswealth.money/burning-man-in-black-rock-city-and-money/ http://womenswealth.money/burning-man-in-black-rock-city-and-money/#respond Tue, 05 Sep 2017 17:55:28 +0000 http://womenswealth.money/?p=20797 Burning Man – Where Anything Goes And Your Money Is No Good Burning Man, the grand-daddy of festivals is about to happen.  It’s next week, out on the Playa of western Nevada.  Some 70,000 people will construct a town, called Black Rock City, in one week, complete with medical, fire, public safety and other services.  […]

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Burning Man Statue at the Burning Man Statue

Burning Man – Where Anything Goes And Your Money Is No Good

Burning Man, the grand-daddy of festivals is about to happen.  It’s next week, out on the Playa of western Nevada.  Some 70,000 people will construct a town, called Black Rock City, in one week, complete with medical, fire, public safety and other services.  And, the most amazing art installations I’ve ever seen on the Playa.

Some people call it ‘wild’, but not me.  It’s a cacophony of people doing all kinds of things.  And I suppose you can find pretty much anything that you want there.  And truly, that’s no different than the world in general.  There’s everything from acroyoga, to metal bra making, to metaphysical stuff to serious lectures, and all kinds of music in the 24/7, neon exploding, fire erupting, Rocking City.  And, 70,000 people all riding bicycles to get from place to place.

It’s sensational — kind of a combination of Las Vegas, Disneyland, Mardi Gras and New York City all rolled into one at night, and Mexican siesta on the Playa during the day.  Groups of people form ‘Camps’ and set themselves up together.

There are three things that I particularly find startling to my thinking, apart from the mind-bending experience of the whole City being built in just one week.  It’s amazing to see people think and act in new ways.  Ways that challenge my senses of what is predetermined culturally and what choices I can make personally.

The first thing that blows me away, is that there is no money exchange.  It is purely a gifting economy in Black Rock City.  The only thing that you can apply money to is the purchase of ice or coffee.  There is no need to use money all week long, not because you brought what you need but simply because someone will readily give you what you need.  Amazing, huh?!

You can go to the ‘Bacon’ Camp, and be handed bacon, to the wine and music Camp for entertainment, to the chocolate Camp for your sweet tooth, or the bike Camp for your vehicle fix up.  And it’s all free.  Someone has chosen this to gift.  Some people make jewelry and others make covers for your bike seat so it’s comfier, it’s all there.  Some people ‘gift’ in smaller ways, and some people ‘gift’ in bigger ways — whatever they determine.

But it is part of the culture of the City to come prepared to gift.  There is someone from southern California who puts up this huge tent that looks like it came straight from “A Thousand And One Nights”, and erects it at Burning Man complete with any kind of alcohol that you prefer and a full Broadway show production.  That’s one big gift that is inspired for the week.

It’s magical to me to see how the City works all week long with no money exchange.  You do have to buy a ticket to get into Burning Man, but then once you are there any form of financial exchange is considered inappropriate.  Fascinating!

It’s a departure from where money in our world is defined as something that you need to obtain the goods and services that you need to sustain your life.  In fact, here’s how we define money:  Money is energy.  It is a means of exchange that helps you acquire the earthly things that you need.  Most of the resources in the modern world cost money, yours or someone else’s.  You cannot pretend that money does not exist, or that you are above it when you live in the American economy, except in Black Rock City for the week.

And then there is the art that is gifted.  Since mobility in the City is generally on your bike, you hop on it and ride well out into the Playa to see all that has magically appeared.  On my first adventure, I had no idea what to expect.  My friend and I peddled out into the vast open space.  The Playa was once the bottom of a pre-historic lake that is now sacred Indian land.  It’s a flat wide open area that runs for 20 miles without a single blade of grass and fine sand for as far as the eye can see.

It’s smooth sailing on a bike, expect that every once in a while you can hit a ‘pillow’ of sand and be stopped dead in your tracks.  My friend and I peddled away from the U-Shaped Black Rock City, and into the middle of the “U”, where the art began.

There were all kinds of ‘large’ to ‘larger’ art instillations.  First, we came upon a big installation that was the letters ‘Love’.  Then, we moved on to a larger installation that was the size of a two story building that was reminiscent of the ‘old woman who lived in the shoe’.  We got off our bike and walk up the shoe!

But here was my favorite!  We rode four or five miles out into the Playa and were stopped in our tracks.  In front of us was an 80-foot woman, made of mesh, that towered oner the mountains far in the distance.  She was magnificent, with every detailed sculptured to perfection.  But here was the jaw dropping part.  If you stood there long enough, she breathed!

If you stood in awe of her, quietly and with reverence, you saw that her breasts lifted, her buttocks expanded and her belly rose, just like a real woman.  The artist had captured her with such splendor.  She was the Heroine woman!

In the whole week, you’d be lucky to see about 1/10th of the art.  There is so much.  And, it’s all gifted.  That night the explosions of lights and fire of the U-shape of the City were the backdrop to this artistically created woman who represented the courage and strength of her Heroine self.  I had all I could do not to break into the Helen Reddy song, “I Am Woman”.  “I am strong, I am woman!”

The second thing that blows me away about Burning Man, is kindness.  Imagine a whole City of ‘gifting’.  It is thrilling to see a mass mindset of ‘what can I do for you that will make you laugh, feel alive, give you pleasure, ignite your taste buds or rock your world?  That prevailing question lead to a week of experiencing more kindness than I ever witnessed in my whole life in one place.

I saw people leave their ego behind, and reach out in ways that were expressive of themselves and giving to others.  This rocked my world.  And it inspired me to ask that question often: ‘what can I do for you’..?  I felt less judgmental.  If someone walked down the street by me and they were naked and painted from head-to-toe in silver paint, I just thought — wow! look at that self-expression.

Things that I might have labeled odd in the world that I had left behind for a week, suddenly made sense in this world.  Not that I would necessarily walk down the street naked and painted all silver, but what was I perhaps missing because I had pre-defined opinions about the way to be?  Maybe there was some room for my thinking to expand.

And, in this culture where I experienced so much kindness, I felt safe to let my identity of ‘who and what’ I had pre-determined that I am to dissolve a bit and take in the new expanded and kindness-filled life.

There was another art installation that messed with my perceptions.  It was simple in its construct but very effective in its creation.  It made my whole world turn upside down, and often cock eyed.

It was a series of lights directed onto the Playa floor that moved in waves and different configurations.  Now we know that the Playa floor was as flat as a pancake — but when you rode your bike across these lights, it scrambled your perceptions and suddenly it felt like the ground was moving away from you.  Knowing the ground was flat didn’t make any difference, and all too soon the inevitable happened — bike over and butt on the ground.  It took some practice to stay upright.  I mused about how life does this to me sometimes too.

The way it works at Burning Man, you take your cup and your plate and your utensils, and voila — some kind person fills them.  My Camp was Lavender Lounge, that year.   On the hot dusty Playa, we spritzed you with lavender water, and offered head massages.  It was a very popular spot.

Black Rock City, is 3 miles wide from the top of one side of the ‘U’ shaped community to the other ‘U’ shaped side.  There was so much gifting that you’d be lucky to see only a small part because you’re tempted to stop at each Camp along the way.  You just ‘tool’ in on your bike and you are greeted and offered some bit of enjoyment.  On a hot day, snow cones were appreciated or just a siesta in a hammock, or a band of guitars.

One of my favorites was the Camp with a real live shower!  In this ‘gifting’ economy, the small things were true pleasures.  And people noticed what you needed.  That felt particularly kind to me.

The third thing that blows me away about Burning Man, is that they burn all of the wooden structures of art and others down at the end of the week.  Yes, everything!  All of those incredibly ornate, time-consuming-to-build, and fabulous installations down by setting them into big raging flames.

That’s something that you can do when you are out on the desert and there is nothing around except vast expanses of sand.  And the coup de gras of the ‘Burn’ is Saturday night when they burn the ‘Man’.  The Man is a wooden structure built to stand some 150 feet into the air.  Each year there is a different version of the Man — and no wonder because each year the Man gets burned right down to the ground.

Here was my dilemma.  Should I take a picture of the Man?  Because if he was to be burned would I be memorializing something that was meant to be temporary?  I worked on that one all week!

On Saturday night 70,000 people ring this big wooden structure of some form of the Man.  There are fire dancers, and torch bearers, and fireworks, and so much to tantalize and inspire.  When the Man starts to burn, his hands rise into the air.  It takes four or five hours for the Man to fully burn and all sit there mesmerized.

Beginning on Thursday, they burn the other structures on the Playa too.  A big multi-story Pagoda, the ‘woman in the shoe’ installation, and other things that make you just shake your head and ask – ‘why would they burn that?’  This too messes with my perception of things needing to be permanent as I see them.  Isn’t that of value, and why would they send it up in smoke, I asked?

It’s curious that someone would invest two years to build such a grand art instillation as the Pagoda with it’s intricately carved inside and extensive photographic works on the outside.  So many people enjoyed this work all week.  And, then you burn it?  Wow!

This is the culture of Burning Man.  It’s temporary.  It comes and goes in a week.  The analogy is maybe:  a week, a lifetime, what’s the difference?  It is all temporary.

Our magnificent selves, they come into full being (hopefully), and then they go.  What is there to be shocked about to experience this transition?  70,000 people build Black Rock City, and then it goes away — and then it happens all over again next year.  I must admit that I first felt some sadness seeing it all go away at the end of the week, and yet knew that it was nature’s way of being.

There was much for me to learn in Black Rock City.  I was fascinated to be in a community of ‘no money’ exchange.   I liked that it brought out that to ‘get’ you needed to ‘give’.  There was an energy and spirit that made the society blossom from this way of being.  It gave me hope that in this way all can be taken care of in the world.

I got that money is not the issue, but that kindness is.  I’m not saying that money is not important in our world, it is, but that the focus of creativity and inspiration was a better outcome than the pursuit of the gathering of money just for oneself.  You could feel safe in this world because you could find what you needed.  When people feel safe, they behave better.

And, I got that our blossoming selves are temporary.  That living fully into the moment, reaching out with as much of your unique gifts and talents and living in joy, were living the fullest life.  And, that it made no sense to waste time getting to 100% to doing this, because at some point Black Rock City was only a memory.

When I entered back into the world from Black Rock City, I felt like I came from an alternative universe back to this one.  As if the sand storm parted and I came through the worm hole back to this side.  But I came back with the questions.  What is money for?  Who do I want to be now that I know that I am free to choose?  Who do I love with kindness?  When it’s all over, what memory will I have created?

“And, can I go around again?“, because Black Rock City was one hell of a good time!!  And, yes, I’m all set to go again next week!

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Dress For Success : Values To Dress Your Success http://womenswealth.money/dress-for-success-values-to-dress-your-success/ http://womenswealth.money/dress-for-success-values-to-dress-your-success/#respond Tue, 11 Jul 2017 10:05:03 +0000 http://womenswealth.money/?p=20664 For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. – AUDREY HEPBURN- When I Style people they often ask me: “Who do you think are the most stylish and elegant men and women on the […]

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For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.


When I Style people they often ask me: “Who do you think are the most stylish and elegant men and women on the planet?”

In my entire career in Fashion and Entertainment, I have met very powerful men and women coming from all walks of life.  Many of them had high-end and expensive wardrobes and were impeccably dressed. However, only few of them really had Style.  As the saying goes “You can buy fashion but you can’t buy Style”. Some behave and relate to others in a way that isn’t as precious as the image they project. They’re like the impeccable facade of a building that is lifeless and empty on the inside.

In human history, there’s always been a tendency to define Success with appearance, social standing and material belongings and nowadays, social medias have exponentially expanded and rooted this way of thinking in our minds.  People “follow” each other looking for acceptance from their peers. “Social Influencers” are the new Born stars that create trends, the more “followers” one has the more (apparently) successful he/she is.  I find it funny that with all of this technological evolution we end up losing individualism and are going back to living in a tribal mentality.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I use social medias too and I think they are extremely useful and powerful to spread a message out there. I just don’t believe in acting like a sheep and following the mass. I’d rather see or hear about people’s mission and a vision than knowing what brand someone is wearing or what they ate for lunch. I’m more interested in the stories of the “Outsiders” that are committed to make a change in the world.

I believe that who you are, how you behave and what you have achieved are more important than any material possession or nice picture. I am more inspired by those outspoken Individuals who have the courage to express their ideals, to let themselves be seen and who serve their community and their environment. Sometimes those people might appear understated, yet they stand out from the crowd because of their presence and personality. Before choosing their wardrobes (which by the way is not random but researched) those people dress themselves with VALUES. Here are the ones that I personally cherish the most and strive to have every day.


When we are kids, we are open and eager to discover. We know what we want, we invent worlds out of nothing and simple things make us happy. As we become adults we lose that curiosity and creativity. We think we already know everything and rather than pursuing what makes us feel good we do what others make us believe is right for us.  We follow trends, rules, society, medias, influencers and we become fearful of being ordinary. We have found the “not enough” society in which we believe our relationships are “not enough”, the house we live is “not enough”, our job is “not enough” and guess what? everything else around us is “not enough”. We live in the idea that if we don’t do extraordinary things, or surround ourselves with expensive material possessions we are not good enough.

Authenticity is a virtue of the heart. To be authentic means letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing everything that is Us: Our story, where we come from, our relationships, our passions, our feelings, our desires as well as our imperfections, our dark sides, our mistakes and our failures. It’s daring to break through all the noise of this world and shout out loud “I am enough, just as I am and I don’t care about what other people think”.

No one else is like you, no one else has your experience.  You are Authentic because you are original and true, there are no copies or imitations. You are more than enough, ‘You’ are Unique.


I believe Integrity walks hand in hand with Truth and Respect, which is important to have for ourselves and for others. When we lie to others, pretending to be someone we are not, we lie to ourselves in the first place.  Lying is like building a house on the sand, no matter how beautiful we make it, a wave crashing, rain falling or a wind blowing will be enough to make it collapse.  Lies usually arise from a low self-esteem and from the incapacity to believe that we have the ability to be complete and successful.  It all goes back to the “not enough” mind setting we talked about earlier; we believe we are “not enough”, so we make up a story to be loved and accepted by others gambling on our relationships and killing trust.

Being out of Integrity is not only making up stories or pretending to be someone we are not. It is also talking too much without taking action on our words.  We can be “talkers” or “doers”.  The talkers spend their time preaching how things should be done but never do them; whereas the doers don’t waste their energy on words, they just take action and DO things.  Are you a talker or a doer and which of the two personalities do you tend to surround yourself with?

We all lie at some point in our lives, no one is exempted. Whether we think it’s for a good or a bad reason and whether it’s to others or to ourselves it doesn’t matter. At night, when we go to bed and we are alone with ourselves, we know where our truth stands.

Living in integrity can be difficult. People who live in integrity will not move away at any cost from their principles and their morals. They stand in their truth and are willing to fight for what they believe in. They respect others because they have a great respect for themselves. Where does that respect come from? It comes from being vulnerable.


Modern society has hypnotized us with the idea that “in order to be successful, we must project an image of success all the time” (I stole the line from American Beauty, one of my favorite movies).  We’ve been raised in a culture where LOOK became more important than FEEL and we’ve been taught to armor ourselves against feeling exposed, uncertain, uncomfortable and vulnerable.

Have you ever had a time in your childhood when you cried all of your tears out and after five minutes you were back to playing and laughing? Babies and kids don’t fear to be judged when they cry, they express their feelings. Crying is not stupid, it’s not something that makes us weak. Crying washes and liberates our soul that’s asking for forgiveness. It’s a way to express that we’re ready to receive because our heart is open, it’s creating space for change.

Vulnerability is telling people how we feel, even when those feelings might not be understood.  It’s giving up on control and embracing the unknown with no expectations. It’s being uncomfortable in intimacy because we do feel naked and exposed. It’s being open to listen and receive from others instead of wanting to have all the answers and do everything by ourselves.  It’s having the courage to say “hey, I fucked up, I failed, I was wrong, I made mistakes, I lied” or to say “Hey, I’m not feeling well, I’m sad, I’m scared, I’m pissed off, I need help” instead of pretending it’s all going great when it’s not.  Vulnerability is embracing ourselves as a whole, without running away from who we are, searching for truth and sharing our story with the rest of humanity.

If you want to deepen your work on this topic, I recommend you to get acquainted with the work of Dr. Brene Brown. She has two amazing Ted Talks “The power of vulnerability” and “Listening to shame”.


Theater and Acting gave me the chance to put myself into other people’s shoes and I was able to use those experiences to deepen the understanding and the Modus Operandi of different types of characters. My acting coach Ivana taught me to never judge my characters, especially when it came to playing serial killers, drug addicts, prostitutes or criminals. She said “No matter how cruel someone is, there is always a reason for it, which is usually a “response to heinous physical, emotional or sexual abuse they endured as a child”.

Empathy is the ability to see the world as others see it, understanding their point of view and their feelings without judgment. We all have dark sides, empathy comes from knowing our darkness well enough so we can sit in the darkness with others and eventually help them see the light.  We can’t have empathy if we don’t embrace our vulnerability and face our shame first and for that we need Courage.


Fear is a human feeling and we all have it, no one is exempted. Every time I was scared, my mom would tell me “when something or someone scares you, look at them in the eyes. When your fear has a name, you’ll realize that there’s nothing to be scared about”.

Courage is being able to face the darkness of the world. It’s embracing your own darkness and using it as a motivation rather than seeing it as something that can block you. It’s choosing to be human, with all of our imperfections and allowing ourselves to be seen in our nakedness and to feel our emotions.

Yes, the world is a scary place at times, the good and the evil have always existed and always will. Yes, life challenges us with painful moments. Darkness is nothing but a place where light doesn’t shine. Have you ever wondered why people like so much sunsets and sunrises? This is how I see it: “When a day begins, a night ends and when a night ends, a day begins. Light cannot exist without the dark and so the dark without the light, they have to dance together so that life can be meaningful.” To live in our light we must be able to acknowledge our dark sides.


Confucius said “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”

Reflection is recognizing that the world is our mirror, through relationships with others we learn about ourselves.  Imitation is surrounding ourselves with people that are smarter and wiser than us and being open to receive their knowledge and their teachings. From the day we are born to the day we die, we never stop learning.  Anyone can be our Master: from the old man to the kid, from the maid to the multimillionaire, anyone can teach us something. Wisdom is being open and willing to receive from others and let all their experiences flow into our lives and inspire our journeys.  The more we’re open to learn and receive, the wiser we become. To quote Socrates “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”  Last but certainly not least is Experience and that is the hardest one because you must live in on your own skin.

The greatest lessons in life, are learned through mistakes and failures, if we can accept and embrace them as teaching tools, we keep growing and expanding our knowledge. When we do, we earn the right to teach our experience to others and leave our Legacy.  Some have heard of it, some talk about it, some have lived it in their own skin and those are the real Masters.


It’s obviously easy to be grateful when things go well, and hard when they don’t. Life can be challenging at moments. There are always going to be times in which we’ll have to overcome obstacles and hurdles. The attitude you’ll face them with is the real game changer.

Gratitude has the power to shift how you feel about yourself, other people, your day ahead and other life circumstances. In my personal journey, I have learned that my worst moments have been my greatest gifts for they brought more awareness into my life and they made me realize how EVERY SINGLE SECOND in life is precious and important.

The day after my mother died I was feeling grateful. There was a beautiful moon in the sky that reminded me of Alice in Wonderland Cheshire cat’s smile. It was one of my mom’s favorite characters and I knew that, in some way, she wanted to tell me I had to keep smiling and living life to its fullest. Every day I take a moment to stop and reflect upon all the gifts life has blessed me with: a healthy body, a shelter above my head, food on my table, the love of my Family and Friends, an endless Creativity, the possibility to follow my Dreams, traveling the world, meeting new people, sharing my stories, the Nature I’m surrounded by. The list of things I am grateful for is endless and surprisingly it’s the little things I’m the most grateful for.

Gratitude creates a powerful energy within us that reflects on our outer world. The more Gratitude we put out there, the more the Universe responds by sending us back the things we are grateful for.


As a conclusion, here’s my answer to the question at the beginning of this article: I believe that the most stylish people in the world are the ones who dress themselves with VALUES.



– coxy –

If you feel like you need more help in creating your personal Style, feel free to contact me and connect to my social media.

Be everything that is you.

With Love


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Getting Your Financial ‘Fit’ in Place, and Loving Your Job http://womenswealth.money/getting-your-financial-fit-in-place-and-loving-your-job/ http://womenswealth.money/getting-your-financial-fit-in-place-and-loving-your-job/#respond Wed, 05 Jul 2017 15:22:52 +0000 http://womenswealth.money/?p=20656 Loving Your Job is one thing but do you fit your job, and does your job fit you?  How do you know if you’re in the right place and can thrive?  What’s the ‘FIT’?  Because FIT Matters!  And this is the title of my new book. Whether you are self-employed, work for a large corporation […]

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Loving Your Job is one thing but do you fit your job, and does your job fit you?  How do you know if you’re in the right place and can thrive?  What’s the ‘FIT’?  Because FIT Matters!  And this is the title of my new book.

Whether you are self-employed, work for a large corporation or a small start-up, chances are you spend a lot of time on the job. Typically, women who are employed full-time spend more time working than doing just about anything else – eating, sleeping, playing, parenting.  So, work needs to work for you!  It needs to utilize your skills and talents, it needs to fit your lifestyle, the relationships need to be healthy and supportive and financially you need to know that you are appropriately valued.

Business woman working and workout at her office

The role of financial fit in loving your job is complex and requires deep reflection on both your current and future needs. Your needs are multi-faceted – some are practical, such as understanding the cash flow required to take care of financial obligations, and some are more closely tied to identity and emotional desires. Financial fit is great when all of those needs and realities match your current work compensation.

Understanding what you need for great financial fit first requires a realistic assessment of your expenses. It’s important to consider all annual, quarterly, and monthly expenses. This includes your rent or mortgage, car payments, car insurance, credit cards with outstanding balances, gym memberships, entertainment, hobbies, family obligations, and grocery bills. If you don’t know that number, get out a piece of paper and figure it out. Once you know your total annual expenses, calculate what that is monthly. To understand your financial options, it’s critical to have a good grasp of your obligations and spending patterns.

Having a clear grasp of what you need, eliminating debt and increasing savings gives you significantly more flexibility when it comes to the role of pay in your employment situation.  For example, one client Lori was unhappy in her job as a marketing manager for a tech company, and she decided to accept a position to do social media for a nonprofit where she had been serving as a volunteer. The change meant a significant decrease in salary and therefore a big decrease in spending. “I’ve had to make sacrifices, but it’s worth it. Now I help people, I’m valued, I feel tremendous trust from my boss and coworkers.”

Like Lori, you may want to take a job that pays less but provides great fit in other areas. To do that you have to figure out how to spend less each month. You may also have to save money and reduce your debt prior to making the job switch.

Don’t forget, your pay package is only part of the equation. Your total compensation may include benefits such as health insurance, dental/ vision benefits, vacation time, personal days, disability insurance, and perks such as free food and gym facilities. Even factors such as job title or access to training programs can provide great value over time. Smart organizations are increasingly designing their compensation programs in the context of a total rewards strategy that takes into account pay, benefits, and non-monetary rewards such as career paths and work-life balance. Each of these has different value to different individuals. Know what’s most important to you.

Jamie worked in patient collections at a large community hospital. A single mother, she had average health insurance and didn’t think much about coverage at first. Over the years, however, as first one and then both of her sons developed health concerns requiring frequent medical treatment and intervention, health insurance became key to how she felt about her financial fit. She had taken a new job with a higher salary, but left it after a few months to join her previous employer, who offered full medical coverage for all employees, including their dependents. As the medical bills mounted, having comprehensive coverage was far more important to Jamie than a higher salary.

A critical piece of financial fit is a sense of fairness. Given the amount of time and energy you devote to work, you want to ensure that you’re valued in an appropriate way. Receiving less than you need or deserve can lead to dissatisfaction that can impact commitment and, in some cases, confidence.

Pay equity has become a hot topic for organizations and individuals. Unlike the past, where social taboo made it difficult to compare your pay with that of other people, today there’s a general move toward greater transparency, with multiple resources available to find standard pay rates.

Many women and minorities still face tremendous pay gap issues. Controlling for factors such as career level, education, skills, job responsibilities, and more, researchers at PayScale (2015) have found that women earn between 3 percent and 5 percent less than men for equivalent work. For some industries, such as finance and tech, the gap is much higher.

An important way to ensure that your pay is fair is to be proactive in knowing what your skills are worth. Grounding yourself in the facts can be especially critical if, like some men and many women, you’re not comfortable or experienced in negotiating for more pay. Salary.com found that 84 percent of employers expect prospective employees to negotiate salary during the interview stage (Gouveia 2013). Yet only 30 percent of women negotiate, while 46 percent of men do (Babcock and Laschever 2007).

You can use websites such as payscale.com or glassdoor.com to compare your salary to those in similar jobs, factoring in location, experience, education, and other attributes. Once you gain this knowledge, you’ll be better equipped to negotiate with your current employer or decide to move to a job that provides a better financial match.

Finally, you need to understand what financial compensation really means to you. The pursuit of power, recognition, status, security, family sup- port, flexibility – these are all legitimate financial motivations. The role that money plays in motivating you will shape what you look for in an organization and its compensation package, and it will certainly shape how you balance financial fit with the other elements of work fit.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • Do I know what I need to earn in order to meet my financial obligations?
  • What is my preferred mix of fixed vs. variable compensation? Short-term vs. long-term?
  • What benefits are most important to me?
  • Are there other psychological needs my compensation should 
  • Do I believe my pay is fair?

Great financial fit won’t guarantee success or happiness, but poor financial fit will certainly cause harm and stress. You need to be compensated in a way that enables you to meet your obligations and fulfills larger psychological needs. You deserve to be paid fairly based on your experience and on what’s typical for the position.  The more you master your money skills, the more freedom and flexibility you will enjoy!

Cammie Dunaway

To learn more about all the areas of work fit check out my new book Fit Matters: How to Love Your Job.  For more information and a free chapter see www.fitmatters.biz.

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Money and Losing A Loved One To Death http://womenswealth.money/money-and-losing-a-loved-one-to-death/ http://womenswealth.money/money-and-losing-a-loved-one-to-death/#respond Wed, 28 Jun 2017 18:44:34 +0000 http://womenswealth.money/?p=20646 Losing a loved one to death is exactly what happened to me in 2015. My Father died at the age of 89.  I felt unsettled and incomplete when he died. My experience had been fraught with unnecessary suffering for all involved. This took me to research and soul searching, which inspired my latest book entitled, […]

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You can buy the book on Amazon by clicking here

Losing a loved one to death is exactly what happened to me in 2015. My Father died at the age of 89.  I felt unsettled and incomplete when he died. My experience had been fraught with unnecessary suffering for all involved. This took me to research and soul searching, which inspired my latest book entitled, A Chance to Say Goodbye: Reflections on Losing a Parent. Money and big emotions all surface when losing a loved one to death.

My hope is to support others who face losing a parent or loved one or who have already lost one. Death includes the financial and heartfelt parts of losing a loved one, and there are things that you can do to travel through this path.

Perceptions About Money Change As You Age

Through my experience, my perception of money changed as I lived life as a 50+ baby boomer with aging and dying parents. My Father’s health slowly diminished after a stroke he suffered when he was 85 and from that point onward there was a cascade of decline. His body was failing and he fought that fact.

My visits to my dad increased, as he needed more and more assistance, support and management. I became his medical decision maker officially when he fell in his kitchen breaking his hip in July of 2015. He was never able to return to his home again. He had a surgical repair and then was admitted to a rehabilitation facility, where he later died.

Anesthesia from surgery escalated what had been previously recognized as mild dementia. The doctor at the rehab facility then claimed he had severe dementia and as a result of his reduced cognitive clarity, I would be making all his decisions.

Before my dad’s hip fracture, I had been in a bubble of denial that his end was approaching. After his hospitalization, I was slapped in the face with the reality of his impending death.

Medicare would only cover three months in rehab. As my dad approached that mark, it was clear he could not go home and would need skilled nursing care. I had selected his rehab facility, which included a skilled nursing wing, knowing the probability of his return home was remote. He had become so weak prior to his fall that he could not live independently again. His home was not disability friendly with stairs to get in the house and to get to his bedroom. Bathroom doorways were too narrow to accommodate a wheelchair.

Cost of Long Term Care Can Be Sobering

So I found myself looking at the costs of a nursing home with no further Medicare reimbursement. The shock of the figures of daily care was hard to swallow. My dad saved money and still had some left, but with the costs of long-term care, those funds would rapidly evaporate.

As is often the case with elderly hip fractures, this event is often the beginning of the end. My dad developed other ailments, namely gall bladder issues. He then had to have another surgery within three months of his initial hip repair. His body was in a weakened state and as a result, there were complications of the gall bladder surgery, He developed a mysterious infection, pneumonia and seemed to lose all his energy.

He died a few weeks after his gall bladder was removed. His heart stopped and no one was in the room. There were no goodbyes.

Although sad, his suffering was over. And because he died just before his Medicare benefits expired, his life savings were not completely depleted. But what about the baby boomers who have parents who reside in assisted living facilities for years? How does one prepare financially for the possibility of your own health decline in advanced age?

I’m concerned that we discuss the financial aspects of end of life care and the emotional impact as well. This is what I’ve covered in my new book, A Chance to Say Goodbye: Reflections on Losing a Parent.  Other writers have also shed light on this time of life.

Karen Wyatt is the author of the book What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying. She mentions the financial and emotional side of our current healthcare system. “Approximately 25% of the annual Medicare budget is spent on aggressive, life-sustaining care during the final month of life, much of which is futile and may actually prolong suffering rather than enhance life.”, she says.

Sometimes It Should be Quality Of Life Over Quantity

Old man sitting on a bench in autumn, near end of life

My experience with my dad was one of him resisting death. Because of that mindset, he didn’t question costs-financial or emotional-at the end of his life. He kept doing all the tests and all the procedures and took all the pills suggested. I don’t blame a person for giving their full focus on living a long life. I do encourage a focus on quality over quantity at a certain point.

Sometimes it is okay to say enough is enough and let the body take its natural course. The fact is that our bodies do wear out and at some point, spending all our financial resources at prolonging it may be misguided.

Kathy Kalina, author of Midwife For Souls: Spiritual Care For The Dying said, “I’m still haunted by memories of tying patients down to keep them from pulling out tubes, repeatedly sticking IVs into worn-out arms, and assisting with heroic resuscitative measures that we called the ‘million dollar send-off.’” I was able to avoid that high price tag at death’s door by saying no to hospitalization at the end of my dad’s life. I chose comfort care for him. I knew his heart did not have enough strength to keep beating much longer. I elected to allow it to stop when it did and not order resuscitation. These are questions that you may find yourself faced with as well as you care for a loved one through the end of life.

Kathy Kalina also says, “Doctors have a tendency to think of death as a personal enemy, and that’s usually good. If I have an illness that can be cured, I want my doctor to wage all-out war against it. But once it becomes evident that treatment is not going to be successful, I want to spend my last days in comfort and peace.”

Losing a Loved One & The Million Dollar Send Off

Philosophies on how to live and how to die vary due to the multitude of personalities on this planet. There is no right or wrong way. But there are costs of our choices. A ‘million dollar send-off’ may not come out of your parent’s pocket or your pocket in full, but we all pay the bill in reality. Health care and insurance costs are high and in some cases unaffordable. Our choices do affect the bigger picture of the health care whether we realize it or not.

In the United States, life expectancy at the time of this writing is approximately seventy-nine years, and depending on whether you are a male or female, it can be slightly more or less. At a certain point, will you elect to do every regular exam and test that you routinely did in your prime? Is there a point when you can spread out or eliminate tests like colonoscopies, mammograms, and dental x-rays? Are you investing in prevention with a good diet, exercise, and wellness treatments to promote health, balance, and healing?

Often we are reactionary only making efforts to repair health when a problem crops up suddenly. Those issues were probably building for years and years before symptoms presented themselves. It might be optimal to shift our spending towards preventative treatments as we age to avoid a crisis later. I call it priority spending. I love to invest in feeling good each day, week, month and year. So I budget for wellness treatments such as massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, yoga and other health-oriented measures.

The responsibilities of caregiving and decision making for my dad took an emotional and physical toll on me. I had to double my efforts to stay well during his decline and during times he had a health crisis. I also had to recover after things settled down and after his death. Caregiving in the United States; National Alliance for Caregiving in collaboration with AARP; November 2009 reported “23% of family caregivers caring for loved ones for 5 years or more report their health is fair or poor.”

Drs. Janice-Kiecolt Glaser and Ronald Glaser state, “Stress of family caregiving for persons with dementia has been shown to impact a person’s immune system for up to three years after their caregiving ends thus increasing their chances of developing a chronic illness themselves.” (“Chronic stress and age-related increases in the proinflammatory cytokine IL-6.”Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, June 30, 2003.) So it behooves one to understand these findings and take care of oneself if you involved with care-giving responsibilities.

Pay Close Attention To Caregiver Expenses

Furthermore, if you find yourself in a caregiving position, you may not be able to work or generate your own income. From Evercare Survey of the Economic Downturn and Its Impact on Family Caregiving; National Alliance for Caregiving and Evercare, March 2009 shows “47% of working caregivers indicate an increase in caregiving expenses has caused them to use up ALL or MOST of their savings.” This sort of income loss may not be in your financial plan!

If you have an elderly loved one, it behooves you to have conversations for possible scenarios if their health should change. Clarifying wishes and discussing options for care early while the parent or loved one is of clear mind and relatively good health will provide a roadmap for when disability or dementia occur later. Aging is difficult but with thoughtful preparation, the stresses of it can be decreased for both the elderly person and you.

Research into facilities and agencies that support those who need assistance as they age will give each family member a starting point. Waiting to look into care options until there is a sudden hospitalization only doubles the stress of the crisis. Denial and avoidance that someone you love is approaching fragility are all too frequent. One moment your father or mother might be walking, and then next moment, they have fallen and broken a hip.

Talk Openly About End of Life Care

My advice is to have conversations with your family, doctors and financial planners on a regular basis. Tour care facilities near elderly loved ones. Look into agencies that provide home health care services. Encourage engagement in physical therapy and wellness measures to maintain strength and quality of life. Create a network of support and care professionals to lessen the burden of care from one person alone.

Living to a ripe old age can be a blessing and a curse. Our society is facing a large population of aging baby boomers. If you have not yet lost your parents, you soon will do so. And then you need to prepare of your own senior years. Fear can be lessened with education and preparation. Acknowledging your own mortality can be liberating. Reflect on your priorities. Grab chances to do those things you have always dreamed of doing. Savor special moments. Connect deeply with others. Forgive others and yourself. Express love and compassion. Make this day, this year your best yet!

If these challenges are familiar to you and you want to read more about them please check out my book on Amazon

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How To Avoid Passing Bad Money Habits Onto Your Kids http://womenswealth.money/avoid-passing-bad-money-habits-onto-kids/ http://womenswealth.money/avoid-passing-bad-money-habits-onto-kids/#respond Thu, 13 Apr 2017 16:43:35 +0000 http://womenswealth.money/?p=20640 We’ve all got some bad habits that we just can’t shake – whether it’s a tendency to shop when you’re stressed, sometimes forgetting to pay off your credit card or even spending $10 a pop on lunches at work. For the most part, these habits aren’t going to break your budget, as long as you’re […]

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We’ve all got some bad habits that we just can’t shake – whether it’s a tendency to shop when you’re stressed, sometimes forgetting to pay off your credit card or even spending $10 a pop on lunches at work.

For the most part, these habits aren’t going to break your budget, as long as you’re aware of them and keep them under control. But they may have a big impact on something else: your kids’ attitude to money.

Studies have shown that kids form financial habits by the time they’re 7 years old, and those habits can stick with them throughout the rest of their lives. And where do kids learn these habits? That’s right – from you.

So we’ve asked Rebeccah Elley, lifestyle and money editor at Mozo.com.au to share the 5 bad financial habits you may be unknowingly passing onto your kids, and her tips on breaking them for good.

Bad habit #1: Giving in to instant gratification.

How are your kids picking it up? Every mom has probably experienced that moment standing at the checkout after a long day, with your child pleading for that candy bar. It’s pretty easy to give in rather than deal with an impending tantrum, right? But cave in too often and your kids might become impulse shoppers and won’t ever learn the value of finally getting their hands on something they really want after saving up for it.

How to break it: It’s a skill all moms need to master at some point – staying strong and saying “no” in the face of pleading and tears at the shops. To distract your kids from silly impulse buys, help them set bigger goals, like a new video game, a book or even a laptop computer and put in place a savings plan to reach it. Make sure you keep up the encouragement and show them how their savings are getting closer and closer to their goal to keep little savers motivated!

Bad habit #2: Relying on credit to make purchases you want but don’t need.

How are your kids picking it up? For you, it’s flashing your plastic at the checkout, but for kids, picking up this attitude can be as simple as you buying them whatever they want, even if their allowance is already spent. Of course you want them to have everything their little hearts desire, but this instills the idea that it doesn’t matter how much money you spend – there’s always more where that came from.

How to break it: Two ways: first, head to the ATM and explain to your children that when you use a credit card, you’re spending real money, and that this money doesn’t just come from a hole in the wall, it comes from your hard work. Then, make sure you give your kids an allowance and before you hit the shops together you agree on a spending limit that they won’t be able to go over.

Bad habit #3: Wanting money without putting in the work for it.

How are your kids picking it up? Sure, we all complain about work, and we’d all love to win the lottery someday. But negative attitudes towards working for your money can rub off on children, and it’s important that your kids grow up understanding the link between having money to spend on fun things, and putting in the hours of work to get it.

How to break it: Give out pocket money – but make them work for it! Strike an agreement with your children that they’ll earn a certain amount of pocket money each week, but in return, they need to complete a list of chores like making their bed, taking out the trash or helping cook dinner.

Bad habit #4: Staying quiet about money matters (until it’s too late).

How are your kids picking it up?
This time it’s not about something you’re doing, it’s what you’re not doing. If you never talk to your kids about your finances, they’ll get the idea that money is something that should be kept secret. And that could be bad news if it means they avoid getting financial help in the future if they need it.

How to break it:
Start talking! It may seem uncomfortable to talk to your kids about money, but start with things that are relevant to them. If you say no to buying a new toy or gadget, take the time to explain why it’s not in the budget this month, and that instead, you’re buying their school supplies, groceries or saving up for a family holiday.

Bad habit #5: Ignoring (or not having) a budget.

How are your kids picking it up?
Monkey see, monkey do: you take your kids shopping, give in to the temptation of an unexpected sale and blow your budget out of the water. When they see you spending without seeing the decision making process behind those purchases, it’s easy for kids to think budgeting and being conscious of your money just isn’t that important.

How to break it:
First things first, you’ll need to set yourself a budget. Then, it’s your job to not only stick to it, but also explain to your kids how your budget is set out, what your plan is to stay within the limits you’ve set, and what happens if you don’t. You can even help them design a budget to make the most of their pocket money!





Rebeccah Elley is the lifestyle and money editor at financial comparison site Mozo, which helps everyday consumers get a better deal on everything from their travel money to savings accounts. Whether it’s an in-depth guide or quick blog, Rebeccah loves nothing more than passing on her money saving tips to everyday Aussies.

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