by Barbara Ellison
Choosing Fun – Life Dream Today Coaching
When my coach, Joan, asked me to write an article for this website about an experience that I had today — my first response was to, of course, say… ‘sure’, because she’s my coach and I trust that she’s guiding me to my best. When I got off the phone, though — reality set in — and my brain quipped, ‘Oh, no!, what have I gotten myself into?’
As I continued to work on the project that had started this whole adventure in the first place, I realized that I am not the only one who has been plagued with doubts about their abilities, beset with the ‘wha
t ifs’, like ‘what if’ I can’t think of anything to say or ‘what if’ she hates it, or more importantly, ‘what if’ nobody wants to read it, yikes!! All of those thoughts running around in my head were just my subconscious mind trying to keep me safe in my current reality, even if that really was not something that I liked or wanted. Good that I got this part! Because, physically, emotionally or financially, the ‘what ifs’ can come to anyone about anything — so the thing is that we better learn to deal with them — so they don’t derail us and we continue to prosper.
I thought, ‘good that I have some intelligence working and not just my emotional reaction because I want to move on and forward with my life.
After my husband passed away, a big jolt in my life, I sure needed a reality check and I was faced with reinventing myself and my life. ‘Where to start’ — this was the burning question. For a good two years I wandered pretty aimlessly around in grief and numbness — but then one day, my head cleared and I thought ‘something has to change, I can’t go on like this anymore. Let the search begin!’. This was a real defining moment.
It can be an overlooked truth that the universe (the greater intelligence) always responds like the ancient Chinese saying, ‘when the student is ready, the teacher appears’, and it seemed like within days, probably a few months, then lo and behold, the answer appeared to me.
I was invited to attend a 3-day workshop near my home called the Millionaire Mind Experience. The only reason that I went was to be nice to the person who invited me, isn’t that how it sometimes works? I never in my dreams expected it to be the life-changing event that it was. By the second day, I knew beyond any doubt that I wanted to be a personal development trainer and coach. It has been an awesome journey of learning and self-discovery. So, why am I telling you this and what does it have to do with today?
This afternoon as I was taking a break from planned activities, I sat quietly for a moment to reflect on how my day had started out. It started out really well, I thought. I did my ritual of devotions, I enjoyed the beautiful day as I took my dog for a walk and was kind of congratulating myself on what I had gotten done yesterday when I set up a lead page to offer people an exercise to discover their core values.
Then I started the project today, and my day totally fell apart and seemed to be going down the tubes. I was frustrated by the ‘nth’ degree. I was working on my social media strategy, and to say the least, it was not going well. In fact, I was ready to call it a day (maybe a week!) and come back to it later with more patience. Lucky for me, God has a sense of humor and as I was sitting at my computer complaining that this project was a chore to be endured — that I just couldn’t do anything right! the ‘little me’ was screaming….then it hit me.
‘Do you think that this has shown up in other areas of my life?’ — that more intelligent part of me asked myself. It was a complete ‘AH-HA’! moment to realize that the reason I was frustrated had NOTHING to do with the project at hand — and EVERYTHING to do with my mindset! And, with my coach’s hat on — I knew that I could choose to change my mindset!
At that moment, a girlfriend texted that she was on her way to the local restaurant where we were meeting for lunch and the funniness of my morning hit me — here I was, a coach, who has studied for over two years, who coaches her clients on having a positive mindset, who works with clients who are frustrated, overworked or unhappy — and there was ME, not taking my own wisdom to heart. I literally laughed the whole way to the restaurant, and my day did a complete 180 degree turn around.
In every situation, there is an opportunity to learn something if we are willing to do so — the ‘teacher’ is there! So what did I learn from this experience? As I was telling my coach Joan (coaches have coaches too, it’s the way we can see better too) — she remarked that she was hearing three things from me: (1) I had a complete mindset that freed me back to happiness, even though the life circumstances were still the same; (2) that I was able to laugh at myself, as a way to interrupt the unproductive side of myself that was showing up; (3) the good work that I had actually done already, to develop a system that would work for me to schedule my social media posts; — and (4) to remember to set up my next project — to take the time to meditate on what I want to accomplish, to get in touch with my inner self who knows so much more than my reactions, and to make sure that my mindset is set on ‘FUN’ as I approach and work through the project!
Today was such a revelation to me — as all of my learning coalesced into this one giant ball of truth. Isn’t that the way it works? There’s struggle, and then a moment of revelation. We are responsible for how we think, feel and act. And the choices we make clearly affect our productivity, as I learned today. It’s not always easy (sometimes it’s downright hard when life throws us a curve); however, let’s be empowered women willing to do what it takes to succeed in life.
We will have the life of our choosing! Our personal life and our financial life is ours for the making — starting with our choice of mindset. It certainly was a much better experience for me when I shifted to ‘fun’. We craft our careers and relationships into fulfilling and exciting adventures when we are true to ourselves in what we want and what we deserve. It’s all there for the asking and your mindset will set the road you are on — it’s there for you. I am urging you to DREAM BIG and LIVE LIFE to the fullest.
As one messed up, scared but determined woman to another woman to another, because we’re human after all, WE CAN DO THIS!! It does not matter what THIS is for you — just be inspired to GO FOR IT!
My finishing revelation for the day was this, as my mind reviewed my choices:
‘I am not playing at THIS — it is my J.O.B. – my Joy, my Opportunity, my Belief in myself. ‘Amen’, I quietly said to myself!