Money is a funny thing. Funny in that our brains make up stories about our relationship to money in ways that often challenge financial well-being. See the stories below from women who have openly shared their thinking about money with us.
Do you recognize yourself in any of these stories? If you do, reflect on how your thinking is affecting your checkbook. And, can you question your thinking to change the results you’ll be creating throughout this year?
You are more than you think you are. This is so true for all of us. ‘Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do’…said Benjamin Spock! Unwrap you’re old thinking and make way for new possibilities. Now’s the time!
Here are Stories that women have told us.
Do you find yourself in crazy thinking?
- Here’s Anna who’s been suffering from low self-esteem —
“I was told by my broker brother that I’m too dumb to understand financial
- Kate who was trying to buy affection —
“I loaned lots of money to friends only to find out that I didn’t get the appreciation
I was seeking, or my money back.”
- Jenny who put everything on hold but her career —
“I have an MBA from Harvard and still don’t know how to do my financial life. I
have earned a lot and have lots of furs and jewelry but no cash and no financial
- Bonnie who just got that she needs to make a shift in her money thinking —
“I get it! School’s just don’t teach you this stuff. It’s a matter of making a
the psychological shift within yourself — rewiring your whole approach to money
- Janet who was caught in the ‘perfect girl’ syndrome —
“I dedicated many years of my life to a business my husband started. I did the
jobs he didn’t want to do. I thought that if I was good enough at them then he
would take care of me in return.”
- Sarah who was the family bookkeeper —
“I took care of the finances in my marriage yet I was surprised to learn that there is
a vast difference between the bookkeeping I did and thinking about and planning
for my future.”
- Susan who was afraid of being a bag lady —
“I managed the money in my relationship but was still afraid that I’d end up a bag
- Ashley who’s caught in the credit card nightmare —
“I’m 22 years old and have 7 credit cards that are at their maximums. Now I’m
really frustrated because everything I earn has to go to my credit cards and me
wonder if in my whole life I’ll get out of this.”
- Liz who is holding on to the hope of a White Knight —
“I’m beginning to do my own financial life; but if I get married, will it be different and
I won’t have to do this anymore?’
- Jamie who thought that she could earn her way out —
“I thought that if I just made more money I could earn my way out of the problem. I
worked on this almost to the point of killing myself! I didn’t get that having cash
was a matter of temperament and not of income.”
- Rachael who’s in the dark about her family finances —
“I’m married and have a credit card and a household checking account in my name that
my husband funds. But have no access to other monies that he has earned and
invested while I’ve raised the children and done all the socially appropriate
things to support him. I worry about what our financial picture looks like — I have
no access and no idea.”
- Jodi who is struggling with old beliefs —
“I believed that earning more than my basic needs would be greedy. I got that
message from my family since they never allowed themselves to dream more than their basic needs
. I’ve always settled for ‘just enough’ and now see that my
thinking really limits my choices.”
- Leah who is a woman with money —
“I can make a lot of money but I haven’t really invested a whole lot — it is just sitting
in a money market account. I haven’t taken the time to slow down long enough to
make plans for my financial future.”
- Ruth who just received an inheritance —
“I recently inherited more money than I ever dreamed of having. It is such a
change for me — I am scared that I have a lot to learn and I’m afraid that I could
make a mistake and blow it.”
- Michelle who’s been suffering from illusions —
“I married a man with a large trust fund. He has poor business skills and has
frittered away the money. Although we live a public life that looks really good, we personally
have large credit card balances and debt that keeps growing. If he dies,
I’ll have no income — if he lives, where will I get the money to take care of him? My
only apparent option is to divorce him in order to protect myself because of his
financial choices and because I didn’t have a plan of my own.”
- Erica who is looking for a financial advocate —
“I took the steps to secure my future by finding myself an advisor — but was
disillusioned to find that the advisor was unable to consider a woman’s viewpoint.
My husband and I were working with the same person and it was a woman but she
didn’t embrace women’s issues. I think she though that only my husband was the
- Maria who’s caught in the femininity myth —
“I’m just beginning to see that I hold myself back because I’m afraid to make more
money or have more investments than my partner. ….Because then I might not be
loved— how can a partner take care of me if I can take care of myself?”
Do any of these resonate with you? Or, maybe you can now identify your own version of some twisted thinking around money. I’ve had to undo many conflicting thoughts myself!
They come from parents, teachers, the culture and so much more that shaped your money thinking and you absorbed — without even thinking about it!
My Mother used to say — ‘it’s as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one. My Father used to say — never marry for money, it’s cheaper to borrow it! No which one is it? Silly, but we all encounter conflicting views about money, and without sorting them out it can leave you stuck in money madness.
The point is that you’ll have to do some digging into your money thinking. What are you holding on to that diminishes your bank balance or improves it? What is worth getting rid of because it’s just plain crazy — or at least is not getting you to where you want to go?
Star the comments above that speak to you and make a list of your own — and plan this year to listen to your thinking about money and shift as needed! You’re financial future depends upon it — something worth addressing!